pages/essays/a-vision-of-saturn.md
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@@ -3,19 +3,19 @@ title: A Vision of Saturn
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-As I listened to the first notes of Gustav Holst's "Saturn" for the first
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-time, many years ago, I found myself transported high in the air, above
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-a breathtakingly lush valley. The landscape stretched out in a vast bowl
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-beneath me, with verdant vegetation and vibrant fauna flourishing beneath the
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-azure sky. Distant mountains stood like sentinels, encircling the valley and
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-offering a serene sense of seclusion. A broad and gentle river meandered from
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+As I listened to the first notes of Gustav Holst's "Saturn" for the first time
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+many years ago, I found myself transported high in the air over
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+a breathtakingly lush valley. The landscape stretched in a vast bowl beneath
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+me, with verdant vegetation and vibrant fauna flourishing beneath the azure
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+sky. Distant mountains stood like sentinels, encircling the valley and
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+offering a serene sense of seclusion. A broad and gentle river meandered from
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one end of the valley to the other.
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-As the music continued to unfold, I spotted a colossal figure in the valley
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-below. It was a giant old man. His bedraggled appearance and the battered
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-armor he wore stand testament to countless battles fought and the ravages of
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-time. The immense weight of his existence is palpable, as he drags his heavy
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-sword behind him with each weary step.
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+I spotted a colossal figure in the valley below as the music unfolded. It was
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+a giant old man. His bedraggled appearance and his battered armor stand as
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+a testament to countless battles fought and the ravages of time. The immense
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+weight of his existence is palpable as he drags his heavy sword behind him
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+with each weary step.
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He looks at me with eyes that hold the wisdom of the ages, his presence
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exuding an air of majesty and timelessness.
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I felt a sense of awe when I realized that he was Saturn, the Roman god
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embodying the passage of time and the inevitability of old age.
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-The haunting melody of "Saturn" deepened, mirroring the transformation taking
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-place before my eyes. A few hundred feet ahead of the god, I witnessed a cone
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-of withering and dying flora and fauna. It started close to Saturn and
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-stretched outward, reaching the edges of the valley, a stark contrast to the
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-verdant life beyond.
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+The haunting melody of "Saturn" deepened, mirroring the transformation before
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+my eyes. I witnessed a cone of withering and dying flora and fauna a few
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+hundred feet ahead of the god. It started close to Saturn and stretched
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+outward, reaching the valley's edges, a stark contrast to the verdant life
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+beyond.
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As Saturn staggered forward, his sword carved a furrow into the land,
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-disrupting the natural flow of the river that ran through the heart of the
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-valley. In the cone of destruction surrounding him, the once-vibrant river
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-dried up, leaving the riverbed parched and barren. The desolation spread from
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-the riverbanks to the valley's edges, casting a somber veil over the once-lush
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+disrupting the river's natural flow that ran through the heart of the valley.
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+The once-vibrant river dried up in the cone of destruction surrounding him,
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+leaving the riverbed parched and barren. The desolation spread from the
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+riverbanks to the valley's edges, casting a somber veil over the once-lush
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landscape.
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Yet, as the old man's passage left destruction in his wake, there was also the
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rebirth, growth and decay that Saturn governed.
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As the discordant jangle of notes in Holst's "Saturn" resounded, the old man
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-halted his progress at the center of the valley. Overcome by a sudden, violent
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+halted his progress at the valley's center. Overcome by a sudden, violent
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coughing fit, he became weak and unsteady, swaying precariously for a few
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heartrending moments. This display of vulnerability added a new dimension to
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the god's character, revealing the fragility that existed even within the
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As I listened and imagined this scene, the haunting strains of "Saturn"
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created an indelible impression, capturing the essence of life's eternal
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cycles and the ever-present dance between vulnerability and power. The old
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-man's journey through the valley serves as a poignant reminder of the
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-inexorable passage of time that governs all aspects of our existence.
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+man's journey through the valley is a poignant reminder of the inexorable
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+passage of time that governs all aspects of our existence.
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+
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+As I listened to the first notes of Gustav Holst's "Saturn" for the first
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+time, many years ago, I found myself transported high in the air, above
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+a breathtakingly lush valley. The landscape stretched out in a vast bowl
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+beneath me, with verdant vegetation and vibrant fauna flourishing beneath the
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+azure sky. Distant mountains stood like sentinels, encircling the valley and
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+offering a serene sense of seclusion. A broad and gentle river meandered from
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+one end of the valley to the other.
pages/home.md
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@@ -18,8 +18,9 @@ when standing before the judgement bar.
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## About This Site
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-This site uses the [Gollum Wiki](https://github.com/gollum/gollum) software for the web presentation. I use [vim](https://www.vim.org/) as
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-the editor, with the [vimwiki](https://github.com/vimwiki/vimwiki) plugin.
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+This site uses the [Gollum Wiki](https://github.com/gollum/gollum) software
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+for the web presentation. I use [vim](https://www.vim.org/) as the editor,
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+with the [vimwiki](https://github.com/vimwiki/vimwiki) plugin.
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* [Resources](resources)
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* [Contributing](contributing)